The feeling of happiness is always cluttered. Feels like something is missing, feel afraid that its going to be over, the impending sense of doom.

I feel calm, when I am sad. No hurry, no agitation, no noise. Just calm. Feels like the right thing to feel. I feel like I can breathe. No one to talk to, no one to answer to, no one to care about. And to know that no one cares about you either. Relaxed, peaceful, sad.